#AmericanGods: Holy F*%^!

American Gods
American Gods by Neil Gaiman

My rating: Intentionally Not Rated

 

I’m going to gracefully back out of this one.

I got through 10% and realized I’m not quite adult enough for that much adult content. I kept hoping the F-bomb count would starting ticking down. Unfortunately, it ticked up in stead.

I probably should have guessed that would happen after the women ate that dude with her vagina.

I’m totally bummed. I’ve loved everything Neil Gaiman, and I can tell this story was on its way to awesome. I’ll intentionally leave this review unrated.

Looking to experience the Neil Gaiman magic without the four-letter color? Try Stardust, Coraline, The Graveyard Book, Neverwhere, or The Ocean at the End of the Lane. I love them all.

Happy Reading!

 

My Daddy Loves Me

I wrote this children’s story a couple of years ago. Anyone want to illustrate it?

My Daddy Loves Me
by One Man Book Club

My daddy loves me.

When he tucks me in at night, he always hugs me and kisses me and tells me I’m lovely. And sometimes he says, “Guess who I love?” in a voice that sounds like he’s trying to be silly.

I know the answer, but I like to be silly too. So I say, “Mom?”

Then daddy makes his eyes smile and he says, “I do love mom, but that’s not who I’m thinking of… “, and his voice sounds like it’s smiling too.

So then I say, “Adelin?” That’s my sister.

And dad says, “I do love Adelin, but that’s not who I’m thinking of…”

“Seth?” I say? That’s my brother.

“I do love Seth, but that’s not who I’m thinking of…”

“Luke?” I say a little louder, because I know how this games goes and it’s almost done and the end is the best. Oh, and Luke is my brother too.

“I do love Luke, but that’s not who I’m thinking of…” And now dad’s whole face is smiling and I love it.

“Titus?” I say while I’m starting to laugh. He’s my brother too, and we share a bedroom.  He sleeps on the bottom.

“I do love Titus, but that’s not who I’m thinking of…”

“Flora?” I say, and now daddy is laughing too.  Flora is my sister, but she’s just a baby.

“I do love Flora,” and now his voice starts to get louder and sillier. “But that’s not who I’m thinking of…” The funniest part is next.

“Guinevere?” I say, but it’s hard to say it through my giggles. ‘Cause she’s our dog, and my dad doesn’t really like her that much.

“I kind of love Guinevere,” my dad says and he makes his face look crazy. “But that’s definitely not who I’m thinking of…”

And now I get to say the right answer. It’s my favorite part. “Me?” I say.

“Yes!” My daddy says with his happiest voice and with his happiest face. “I do love you, and you were who I was thinking about!”

Then he tickles me, and I laugh, and he kisses me again. And before he shuts my door he always remembers to wave to me with his I-Love-You hands and blow me kisses.

That’s how I know my daddy loves me.

#TheLastOne: How’s This for a Hook…

The Last One
The Last One by Alexandra Oliva

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

 

How’s this for a hook:

It’s “Survivor” on steriods. Conflicting personalities. Social media interaction. Clever edits that tell viewers a story, not what actually happened. Behind the scenes of the guts of the show. Privately, the producers give the contestants names based on the character trait they want to develop for the production. Fascinating…and fun.

Fun…

…Right up until an unknown microbial epidemic wipes out 1/2 of the world’s population in a matter of days. The contestants don’t know what’s happening. Some are rescued. Some die. One keeps going, oblivious. To win, you have to keep going. Last one standing wins $1 Million. For The Last One, it’s all part of the show.

And for us, the real fun begins.

It was a race to the finish for me. I wanted to see how this one ended.

It was gross. It was sad. It was scary.

It was cool.

Dead people. Bad smells. Don’t close your eyes. Don’t get comfortable.

Just wait until her glasses break…

There’s language. Minimal violence, but plenty of gore. No sex. Lots of squirming. (By me. Not in the book.) An ending I can live with.

Plus, it’s a stand alone dysopian/post apocalyptic novel. There aren’t enough of those.

Happy Reading!

#ASeriesofUnfortunateEvents: Unfortunate is an understatement.

The Bad Beginning
The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

 

My 10-year-old checked this out from his school library because the Netflix series looks like fun. He got to chapter 5 and gave up. There is nothing fun about this book.

In his words: “It was so sad it made me want to cry!”

Naturally, I had to give it a go. Isn’t this a series folks love?

I read it. It made me want to cry, too.

Can anyone explain why this series is popular?

Perfectly happy and kind children have their parents die. They receive no love, support, or kindness. They are forced to live in the care of the creepy Count Olaf, an abusive distant relative who beats them and treats them like slaves. He threatens the 12-year-old and 14-year-old by putting their baby sister in a cage and tells them he’ll throw her off a tower if the 14-year-old girl doesn’t agree to marry him so he can gain access to the fortune left for them by their dead parents. He even talks about taking her home on their “wedding night.”

Gross. And sad.

I get that in the next book Olaf shows up again, only this time disguised as some other obscure relative. I can only imagine how each of the THIRTEEN BOOKS in the series stick to a similar formula. Is there a happy ending at the end of book THIRTEEN?

Don’t know. Don’t care.

Not interested.

Happy Reading (of something else.)

#TheWildRobot: Why Didn’t I Think of That?

The Wild Robot
The Wild Robot by Peter Brown

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

 

I wish I had written The Wild Robot.

“What a great idea!”

“Ooo, I loved how that sounds.”

“Why didn’t I think of that?”

“I can’t believe he can say so much in so few words.”

“Not fair. I want this to have been my idea.”

Yep. I’m quoting myself. These thoughts, and many like them, popped in to my head on nearly every page.

I loved it so much I wish I’d written it myself.

It’s a middle grade chapter book. The few illustrations are beautiful, even in black and white on my Kindle. The short, rapid fire chapters are perfect for reading aloud or for letting a 10-year-old feel like she is reading quickly. The simple sentence structure is flawless and a joy to read.

My only critic…the ending. It’s far more open ended than I expected. There’s got to be a sequel on the way. I hope so. I’ll be first in line.

I finished The Wild Robot, and immediately started reading it to my 7-and-under crew. They’re hooked.

That’s the highest complement I can give.

Happy Reading!

 

#TheColossusRises: Meh. More like fast food than home cooking…

The Colossus Rises
The Colossus Rises by Peter Lerangis

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

 

Meh.

Another Middle Grade adventure that copies from the ones who came before and actually did it right.

Like so many in the genre, the characters have no layers, the story has no meat, the resolutions are premanufactured, and the plot is holy enough to be religious.

There is some fun to be had, it’s not all bad. The story is more fast food than home cooking, but I suppose that’s what kids like better anyway. I won’t be continuing the series, but if my kids are interested I’d be happy to recommend it to them.

Happy Reading!

#TheGirlWhoDranktheMoon: Magic. Whimsy. Love.

528110852

The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill

Fantastical. Magical. Mysterious. Whimsical. Full of Light.

Tragic. Sorrowful. Scary. Dark

Happy. Exciting. Fun.

Friends. Family.

Love.

The Girl Who Drank the Moon was a wonderful!

The characters drew me in. The story kept me close. The message sealed the deal.

Now that I’m done, I’m going to start over with my kids. It’ll be a fun one to read aloud.

It’s probably too long for middle graders to read alone, and it’s a bit dark at times. Book loving teens and adults will eat it up.

I see it working well for book groups too.

Highly recommend for all ages!

Happy Reading!